Zika (2088)

In the days before Heaven, the Zika virus was rampant. It was created as part of a secret-government program that was supposed to give people a USB jack in their amygdala so that they could easily interface with a computer and be under thought-control. But instead it gave babies small brains, microcephaly; and it killed a lot of people. People thought it was being transmitted by mosquitos, but that was just an excuse for the secret-government to bug the neighborhood.

But then the secret-government figured out people with small brains could be thought-controlled very easily. And so instead of using USB jacks to control people’s thoughts, they just controlled peoples’ thoughts with FOX News. That’s when Trump became President. After that, there were the Dark Ages, when Trump TV, Trump University, Trump Vodka, and Trump Health dominated the Fortune 500. There were going to be President Trumps until 2088, when we would run out of fossil fuels.

Jesus came and changed all that.

Jesus could heal people from Zika and inoculate them against the virus. But that enraged the secret-government because people were not primed for thought control.
Nobody knew it (not even Jesus), but it was Communion that healed people from Zika. Jesus would go from city to city, feeding people by the five-thousands, sharing bread and wine, and wiping out Zika in the process.

Eventually the secret-government caught up with Jesus, and he was arrested for violating food-handling laws. He was convicted of providing food without using hair nets.

Jesus was jailed and put in solitary confinement. And since he could no longer have Communion, he died soon after that. But Jesus’ followers kept up with Communion; and they defeated Zika, thought-control no longer worked, FOX News went bankrupt, and the secret-government had to shut down.

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